


Road Trips and Duct Tape

by EchoFall



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Duct Tape, Gen, Road Trips, and, and that’s about it, as the title suggests there are both
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-15 13:47:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28689651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EchoFall/pseuds/EchoFall
Summary: Engie is done with the RED Team’s bullshit. Particularly Medic and Spy, who seem to only know how to be nuisances and make bad decisions.
Relationships: Medic & Spy (Team Fortress 2)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 22





	Road Trips and Duct Tape

I was absolutely done. I was the driver and the organiser for a team road trip, and I regretted this decision more than most others he had made in my life. 

There was constant pandemonium in the back seats of the stolen van we were all seated in, and I was up to here with his teammates. Spy, Sniper, and Medic all looked like they were considering throwing Scout out of the moving van, fed up with his constant fidgeting and questions. Somehow, Soldier had broken a window while trying to yell at Heavy for accidentally ripping out one of the seatbelts in the van. Demo then had to prevent Heavy from throttling Soldier with said seatbelt, causing an even bigger commotion. 

I was honestly regretting my decision to give Pyro the passenger seat so I could keep a closer eye on the pyromaniac. Pyro had ended up getting halfway stuck in the window after leaning out too far. We had to pull over and help them, which had taken quite a while since Pyro refused to take off any part of the bulky asbestos suit.

I looked towards the backseat only to see Medic jabbing an extremely drunk Demo with a syringe while Heavy tried in vain to stop him. The car nearly swerved off of the road as I watched in shock. 

“Doc! The Hell are you doin’ back there!?” I yelled, not watching the road as Demo slumped unconscious. Medic gave the Texan a devilish grin. 

“He was drunk. Und loud. Und Scout you vill be next if you do not stop looking at me like that-“ He glared at the young Bostonian, who was now looking sickly and- oh sweet Jesus what was Spy doing?

I pulled over and slammed on the breaks as I realised Spy was using the chaos as an opportunity to climb out of the already broken window and onto the roof. I threw the door open as he nearly fell off, barely holding onto the roof. 

“Spah! What in the Damned Hell are you doing!” He sneered at me from his perch. 

“Leave me, Laborer! I needed an escape from zhe psychopaths inside of this vehicle!” I rolled my eyes, placing my hands on my chubby hips. 

“Y’all could’ve just asked me to pullover.” 

“Would you have listened?” He did have a point, I considered, not that I would admit so. 

“Ya didn’t have to get up on the damn roof! Now git!” I attempted to shoo him down. I, unfortunately, was much too short to achieve this. 

I considered what I could do, when I suddenly had an idea. 

“Hey, Sparky.” I called upon the Pyro, who was watching me along with all of my other teammates. “Can you hand me that roll of duct tape? The one on the dashboard?” Pyro mumbled something before handing me the tape. “Alright, Doc, Slim, Heavy, can y’all come out here and help?” 

The three called upon teammates came out and looked at me expectantly. 

“Alright, can you two-“ I nodded towards Medic and Sniper, “get him down while I talk to the big guy here?” Medic raised an eyebrow. 

“Sure, mate. Why’s the Doc gotta help me though?” Sniper asked. He didn’t, but I needed both Medic and Spy out here for this to work. Outwardly, I shrugged. 

“He’s a Spah. They’re all slippery li’l snakes!” 

“I can hear you from up here, you know.”

“Then git off of the damn van!” 

“Non!” I sighed, looking back to the others. 

“You see my problem here?” Medic chortled, before flashing his best evil grin. 

“I can keep him still for you…” He pulled out another syringe, causing my eyes to go wide. 

“Don’t you dare drug him!” I glared at him. “Now go on and get that snake off of the roof before he hurts himself.” Medic rolled his eyes, before he and Sniper went off to complete the task. I quickly pulled Heavy to the side. 

“When Spy’s back down on the ground, I’m gonna y’all to grab him and Medic and hold them still.” Heavy raised an eyebrow. Or he attempted to: he didn’t exactly have eyebrows. 

“Why? What is reason to grab teammates?” He asked, his voice deep but quiet as he whispered. I hesitated, the. considered that Heavy probably wouldn’t go along with the plan if he knew what it was. 

“Yer gonna see in a minute.” He looked sceptical, but nodded anyway. I looked over to the van and decided to watch the chaos as I waited for the perfect moment to put my plan into action. 

The others who had been inside the van - excluding Demo - were now watching Medic, Sniper, and Spy as the former two tried to grab the latter. Sniper and Spy were wrestling on the roof of the van while Medic was waiting at the bottom to grab Spy when the Frenchman was eventually pushed off. 

I winced as Spy landed a hard punch directly onto Sniper’s jaw, who then grabbed Spy and threw him off of the roof. Spy landed with a thump as he hit the ground head first. Medic was quick to pin Spy down. 

“Got him!” He called, looking exhilarated. Sniper climbed down next to him, panting and out of breath. Heavy crept silently behind the German and the Frenchman - the latter of whom was still lying on the floor looking dazed. I nodded, and Heavy grabbed the two of them in a tight grip. 

“What- Mein Gott, Heavy? Vhat are you doing?”

“Get your hands off of me, Fatman!” 

The pair of them instantly started spitting complaints and - in Spy’s case - threats. I was quick to run over and grab out the duct tape. 

“Hold their hands together!” As Medic and Spy’s yelling increased in volume, and the others had begun surrounding us, Heavy frowned, before doing as I asked. He held Medic’s hands in one of his own, before holding Spy’s hands in his other one. He then held each of the others hands next to each other, so that I could duct tape them together. 

And that’s what I did. 

Once I was sure they wouldn’t be able to seperate themselves, I stepped back and admired my handy work. 

Both of the mercenaries were squirming and giving me death glares while also leaning as away from the other as possible. I put my hands on my hips and grinned. 

“Well, that’s two of my problems solved. Hit back in the van, everyone.” I turned and started walking back, resuming my spot in the front while I watched Medic and Spy attempt to coordinate themselves back with interest. They eventually managed to sit back down inside the van, and I could feel the glares directed at the back of my head. The rest of the trip was oddly silent, and I almost regretted it, but then I remembered that Demo was still unconscious and suddenly felt way less guilty. 

When I checked back on them later, I had realised everyone had moved into a different row, except for Sniper, who was leaning against the window on the opposite side of the van. 

The pair and evidently fell asleep at some point, and were now leaning against each other. Actually, ‘leaning’ probably wasn’t the right word. More accurately, Spy was almost sitting in Medic’s lap in an attempt to combat the awkward positions their duct tape hands forced. 

I grinned, looking at the pair with glee. 

“Well, ain’t that just the cutest thing?”

**Author's Note:**

> it gets a little gay but they’re forced to i swear they can’t move they’re literally duct taped to each other-


End file.
